My Declaration

Being a man, you are, by default, supposed to lead some tasks.

One of these is probably the most difficult experience you can imagine, Propose somebody to enter a relation with you!

Indeed, are they any other times where you put yourself that much in the hands of somebody’s decision for such a personal matter? I do not think so…

During that split second you put everything you are to the decision of a person very important to you, hoping he will accept you… What could be more difficult?

Nobody likes to put himself at risk, and as you can guess, or have noticed, people are managing this risk their own ways.

First you have the people proposing so often that they do not care that much about the result. They like the person more or less and they just go for it. It works that’s great, it does not , why bother!

I am not very keen on that tactic, I must be a bit too romantic, I only make a move when the person really matters to me and when I believe we could build something together. Making the move is then for me always an important decision.

I know about people using tricks, for instance they make sure their beloved had a bit too much drink so they will be more likely to follow the mood and not to think too much. I never used that way, but I think I should have tried, sometime people need that small kick at the beginning and then here it goes!

Maybe in the same category, but a bit smoother, is the possibility to remove the talking and go straight to the action . Just to be a bit more precise I mean a direct attempt to kiss the beloved (on the lips or starting with the neck …) and not to shag her/him on the spot!!

This is usually the way I prefer. Sometime you might have surprised, people accepting the kiss they after few seconds, or minutes putting a halt to the just born relationship. (Do not worry, it only happened twice tome).

Being shy (Yes, I am) and not sure of myself (I mean not understanding why people might be able to like me) I try to reduce the risk of being rejected to its minimum.
During the days, weeks, or month of approach I analysed every word, move, tone, action, … to try to assess if I might stand a chance or not.
Something relatively easy to measure is what he or she can do for you. If somebody is ready to travel, change his program, accept strange hours to spend time with you, visit places not common to him or her, it is likely the person fancies you a bit.
I am very sensual, I like to touch things. I then try to gently touch the arm or the shoulder of the other person to see what is the reaction. If the person does not like you either she freeze or retract. If she does not, you might be on the way.

As you might know I am not exactly free, or at least I might not seem to be, just married, few kids. This means the before any try I always ensure the other person is totally aware of he situation and accept it. This could be done usually by “generic” chat on the topic of affairs (you can always find some good example around you!!) and sensing their reaction.

When the situation is a bit more complex on the other side to then I do not start with the action but by a discussion. I jump in the subject with kind of lawyers precautions, “If I were to fancy you and you were to fancy me …”. I agree this is not the best solution and a dive in would be more efficient to score! But I do not care about scoring night stand, I am in for the long term thus I believe common awareness and agreement on the way forward is a must before this key step. The content of the agreement can indeed change other time but I prefer things to be clear and open at start!!!

Complicated! I do agree, but isn’t it worth it? I do think so!